We're 14 weeks pregnant already.
That just seems rediculous. How the hell has that much time passed!? How the hell are we already in OCTOBER!!! Where has this year gone!
My belly has started to protrude slightly more then normal (but I do normally have a little belly - thanks to the last two pregnancies!), so I won't be including a belly shot just yet! I can feel the hardness of my uterus, especially when I'm laying down. My boobs are SO sore. They were never this sore with my previous pregnancies. I was still breastfeeding my daughter when we fell pregnant with our son though, which may explain why I didn't get as sore that time. But this time around they are so painful to even bump that I dread taking off my bra at night. I already have colostrum, just a tiny amount - but it's there. Which is really quite surprising to me. This didn't happen before either. I suppose 3 times on, my body has kind of worked out this pregnancy thing. Not sure what I'll do with the colostrum/milk following delivery though... but we have a while to nut that out.
I've been watching a lot of the TV show 'One Born Every Minute'. I've always liked the show, and found it fascinating to watch how different women's labours progress. Especially how some seem to breeze through it like it's nothing at all, and others have complication after complication. It has also brought home the reality of my own impending delivery though. And even though that's probably at least another 26 weeks away ( longer if I go overdue again, as I have in both of my previous pregnancies), the knowledge that I will have to 'squeeze a baby out' as my 4yr old likes to put it, is a little confronting.
I've been doing a LOT of thinking about what's making me so uneasy about the birth, and I honestly think its a combination of knowing exactly what I'm in for (pain/process-wise) mixed with not knowing what it's going to be like to labour with the parents of the baby rather then my husband. I think it's this 'unknown', the fact that this is a situation I have NEVER been in before, that's making my brain go into overdrive a bit. I'm constantly trying to picture what it'll be like - but my imaginings are always best-case-scenario (and probably a little movie-like!).
I did watch an episode of One Born Every Minute in which an American surrogate was delivering a little boy for a couple from Europe who had been trying for a baby for over 17years. It was so touching to watch the midwives interacting with the surrogate and the couple, and the moment when the baby was born and handed to the mum. Everyone was crying (I was crying! lol). I think my hubby thought I'd officially gone insane!
I think what I'm finding the hardest to imagine is how we'll all be feeling in those moments/hours/days after baby is born. I believe that I will cry like a baby when bub is born. And that I'll probably be quite fragile and emotional for a while afterwards while my body heals and my hormones try to regain some balance. I intend to try my hardest not to be too snappy and rude when I'm in pain. From what I remember of my previous deliveries, I do get quite short with the midwives and my hubby. I remember him whispering and laughing to me after my son was born and calm had returned to the birthing suite, 'you were so rude to those poor midwives you know!'. I will feel horrible if I get snappy with bub's mum and dad! I also wonder/worry a bit about how nudity will go down! I was quite happy to strip right off and deliver in the buff with both my kids... but this will be a little different!
As you can see - I'm doing a lot of thinking about things that really don't need to be thought about just yet. I'm sure if the due date was to suddenly be tomorrow - everything would just work out. I just need to trust.
(Oh - and on a side note, the weird rash from my 12wk post seems to have cleared up! No more itching all day all over, and no more weird red welts! Still not sure what that was about - but happy to have it gone.)
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