Something just for my surro bub

A few weeks ago I was dyeing up some rainbow mohair fur fabric for our teddy bear supplies store and posting the progress photos to our business facebook page when IM commented that she'd love something like that for the baby... maybe as a rug or something. We nutted out what would be most practical though - and seeing as mohair is notoriously scratchy and not a great fabric choice for newborn skin, we decided to see what a cot sheet set would look like dyed up rainbow-style.

So I tracked down some plain white cotton cot-sheets, and set about dyeing it up like I do with the mohair. The dyes I use are made from natural minerals and we buy them in bulk tubs from a supplier local to brisbane. The problem with them is they give incredibly inconsistent results depending on the material being dyed! lol. Even using mohair fur (which is a natural goat-hair fibre pile on a cotton backing) we get some pieces that wash out with the same intensity as they were when painted, and some that loose nearly all the colour! I've learnt that letting the fabric set in the heat of the sun really helps. So we choose a nice hot QLD summer day to do this batch of rainbow dyeing.

IM had commented that she really liked the diagonal rainbow effect I'd done on one of the earlier pieces of mohair - so we decided to stick with that patterning. We make up little pots of concentrated pastes of each of the colours, wet the sheet, wring it out, lay it flat on newspaper (to absorb excess moisture and prevent the dye from bleeding through the colours stripes) and start painting it on.

It takes a little while - but the effect is so pretty. I was really hopefull that the colours would keep their vibrancy. We laid the sheet out in the sun for a few hours while I painted up the tiny pillow case included in the cot set, and the fitted sheet which was a whole other ball game! (Because of the elastic around the edges of the fitted sheet we couldn't lay it flat for rainbow stripes, so we did a 'splotch' rainbow effect instead which looked a bit like a painting my kids might have done at kindy! lol).

Traditionally I've always rinsed my dyed mohair pieces off outside on the lawn using the hose. But because this is going to be used for a baby, I decided to thoroughly wash it using a sensitive laundry liquid in the washing machine. This was probably the main reason the colours ended up so much softer... but I will admit it did grow on me. Probably a little more 'newborn' suitable!

I even managed to fold it all back up and pop it back in the original packaging too! That was a proud moment! lol. (though obviously not quite as neat as it was when I purchased it!)

We posted the cot sheet set off with the rest of the christmas presents for our IPs and their little boy last week. I'm kind of hoping it has arrived already... or I will have spoilt the surprise with this blog post!

I really enjoyed making this. It was something a bit different for me, and I had visions of surro baby in a few years time taking his unique cot sheets to his kindy/day care and being able to say that his 'tummy mummy' made them for him before he was even born. My kids (4yrs and nearly 3yrs) are VERY into hearing about stories from when they were in my belly, or from when they were new babies and learning about where their most cherished toys and blankets came from.

My daughter recently found two of her baby dolls we'd bought for her on her first christmas (they were 'lost' in the toy box in her room). Four years have passed and the original outfits have long since disappeared into the black-hole of her room... but these two little dolls are now her most cherished toys. The photo above shows them fresh and new back on Christmas day 2009. The photo below was taken about 10mins ago while she has her nap. On the floor. Next to her beloved babies! lol.

It has actually been something that has caught me by surprise a little - how much the story behind an object/toy means to kids. I feel a little silly that this has been something I didn't 'get' before now. But it does makes sense - time is so relative when you've only lived a few years, and don't even remember a lot of your life.. so anything that someone can tell you about what you liked/did/saw/played with etc as a 'baby' is so exciting. Like learning about who you are.

Even more important is a kid's 'story of origin'. While my two are still a little hazy on the whole 'coming from mum's tummy' thing (my daughter likes to check every now and then that she came first, then her brother, and that they weren't both in there at the same time?'), they grasp the basic concept of 'baby comes from belly, is born, then grows up'. They don't have to think too much about it because it's no different to anyone else they know.

I wonder how different that is for a child born to surrogacy and/or egg donation? If their story is told from the very first memories ... I wonder if it's accepted as easily? I've always assumed it would be, but then I've never had to reconcile a story like this myself, or for my own kids. And I didn't anticipate how important these 'origin/babyhood' stories would be for my kids. I think this is also why it felt so right for me to make something unique for this little boy wriggling around in my belly. Something that he can keep, that is a physical object to help represent HIS story of origin and the circumstances that makes HIM so special.

I just have to hope that the pastel rainbows don't completely wash out over the next few years now! lol

24 week belly shot

The promised 24wk belly shot. It actually doesn't look that different to the 20wk one now that I can compare them... But I do feel a lot bigger. I think baby's position makes a big difference too. On monday I felt like I should have been more like 8months along then 6months along! It felt like my uterus was up under my ribs already - even my mum commented that my 'uterus looked very large' lol.  But overnight he's shifted again and movements are again happening down low in my pelvis - so he's probably head up, legs down again. He does seem to like to be the right-way-up! lol. I'm not too worried about that yet. He has a long time to sort his position out yet.

(For comparison sake - this was my first pregnancy 5years ago with my daughter, and I was 23wks pregnant here. This is better then how I look non-pregnant now adays! lol)

(and this is about 3.5yrs ago, my second pregnancy with my son at 24wks. Pretty similar to this one actually, but maybe sitting a bit lower? I think my son spent more of his time head down/bum up though... which may be the difference?)

Week 22 and the acrobatics

This little baby is a mover! I doubt very much this this will be the last time I say that too! He just does not stop. And the rare moments when I think 'oh, he's been a bit quiet', will usually be very short-lived. I've learnt that all I have to do is lay down flat on the couch and wait for about a minute. Something about being flat on my back must either wake him up or restrict his space so that he starts to push against the sides of my uterus. I don't know what it is - but it's a surefire way to check he's ok.

He's so strong now, that he's able to make himself visible on the outside of my belly already too. And if you place your hand in the right spot, you can feel him on the outside of my belly as well. I was just laying down for a rest earlier, and he was kicking up a storm. My 4yr old was able to feel some of his flickery kicks. She was mildly amused! lol

I had been feeling like my energy levels were doing better at the start of this week. And a little while earlier I'd rolled over in bed and heard a 'click' noise, and felt my hip pop back in (it has been significantly less painful since then too). But for the last few days I've really hit a wall at about 3pm and then again at about 8pm, heading to bed around about then. I was telling baby's mum that I feel like a nanna!

So all in all things have been going pretty well. I'm feeling quite on top of things with the housework, our business, the kids and organising christmas. (I actually didn't know if I should buy something for my IPs for baby for Christmas, or just something for their little 2yr old... but I decided to buy for both of them. It's so cute too. Something that I would have wanted to buy for my own kids when they were newborns (if I'd seen this in the catalogue), but wouldn't have ever justified! Especially for the second child! It was hand-me-downs all the way for my youngest! lol

I do remember reading another Surrogate's story at the start of the year, talking about her struggles with going shopping and wanting to buy baby clothes, but not feeling like she was able to. I must say that I haven't really had that yet - I walk past the baby section and look at it more as 'what might be a cute outfit for a collectable teddy bear I'm making', rather than wanting to purchase clothes for the baby. There is definitely a sense of relief there that I don't have to organise a newborn's wardrobe, nursery furniture, prams, slings, rockers and baby swings... this is a very relaxed way to bring a baby into the world. All of the logistical side with clothing and furniture is left to someone else! We've actually found ourselves selling off our old cot and change table as our youngest no longer needs them!

A very bizarre situation indeed!

Another week and a half and I'll do another belly update. I almost did one today - I feel HUGE - but I'd say that's more about eating a massive lunch with my family then having a huge baby in there!

Symptoms at 20weeks

We have our next hospital appointment tomorrow. IM is flying down again (poor thing has clocked up a lot of km in the last week) to attend with me, so that we can try and avoid the situation that happened at the last hospital appointment.

I actually think that this will be the last appointment there for a while - provided everything looks good tomorrow. And that from now on I can just go to my normal GP who is 5min down the road, and surprisingly very supportive and 'on my side' with all things surrogacy. This is called 'GP Shared Care', and is what I managed to do with my first pregnancy, and tried to do with my second before everyone started stressing that he wasn't growing properly... (being born at 10lb kind of blew that theory out of the water though!).

This pregnancy feels pretty easy at the moment. The worst symptoms I have to report are a bit of hip pain (I'm thinking Pelvic Girdle Pain) that radiates down the right side of my lower back/buttocks, and is worse at night. Especially if I've gone to bed, laid down for a while, then have to hoist myself back up again to see to the kids. Walking in heals probably doesn't help either! lol Nor carrying my 2.5yr old who weighs the same as an average 5yr old... but I must say keeping active and moving through the pain helps. When I stop and try to rest it, it seems to seize up more. Will have to try and remember to talk to the doctor tomorrow about that...

Also getting a little intermittent heart burn still. Not every day yet... that will come soon I'm sure! But just periodically, usually in the afternoons/evenings again. Heart burn is one of those things thats nasty when it's happening to you, but when it's not you're kind of like 'oh, what's all the fuss about!

Oh - and the kicking! For all my stressing about him not moving enough in the last few weeks, he's making up for it now. Lots of rhythmical, repeditive shoves from the inside. Still most of them down low in my pelvis like he's aiming for my bladder, or up under my belly button. They seem to be the target spots. Either that, or those spots are where I have the most pressure receptors? My hubby fell asleep with his arm draped over my lower belly/hips the other night, and baby went CRAZY trying to kick him off! He definitely seems to be quite sensitive to external stimulus as he didn't really like the poking and probing of the ultrasound last week either.

I was actually thinking this morning how proud I am of my body in getting us this far. I think it's kind of easy to take the absolute miracle of pregnancy for granted, especially when you're just going through the normal day to day tasks of life and forgetting at times that there is a little passenger in there... but seriously - growing another human being is magic. Normally you can take some genetic credit for the strength/wriggliness/above average growth of your baby, but in this situation the baby is not related to me at all. So all I can take credit for is that my body has nurtured him, let him implant, sustained him, fed him and protected him. My kidneys filter out his waste, my blood supplies his placenta and the water I drink helps to keep him floating in his amniotic fluid... the human body is bloody amazing.

Belly shot - 20 weeks

Well... I must say I don't look as big here as I feel! :P But there has definitely been some growth since the 16wk photo (below).

Half Way

We had the 20wk scan yesterday.

We're half-way.

Wow. Where did 5 months go!?

Baby was SUPER wriggly. I always assumed that they told this to every parent getting a scan done. Kind of like an excuse for getting blurry images?! But everyone in the room could see what this cheeky little baby boy was doing. The poor sonographer would line up an image, and he'd just slip away. I'd feel a little flurry of activity on the far side of my uterus, and the image would be gone.

We did get to see everything important (including genitals to confirm that he is really a he!). And the measurements taken seem to show that he's going to be a big boy. He is measuring 1-2wks ahead for everything! His head is in the highest percentile... probably NOT what a woman facing the prospect of pushing him out of her vagina in another 5months wants to hear though!

But I am so glad he's healthy and thriving in there. I had been quite worried that I wasn't feeling his movements more consistently, but he has made up for that over the last few days. Last night it was like he was trying to tell me how annoyed he was about the ultrasound. He didn't stop dancing in there, even after I went to bed.

IM flew down to be there for the scan as well, which was really lovely. And I took my 4yr old daughter with me. She was enthusiastic for the first 10mins or so, but as the scan dragged on (nearly 1.5hrs later), she was over it.

I will take a belly shot tomorrow morning - you should see how much I've popped out in the last 4 weeks. It's so exciting to watch my body change to accomodate this little man. I'm doing my best to savour everything about this pregnancy...and to get what I wanted out of the experience :)

Sleep

My belly is big enough now to make sleeping directly on my stomach uncomfortable. Which has always been a mild annoyance to me when pregnant as I'm a belly-sleeper from way back! But with my first pregnancy, this was fine - I would just sleep a little longer in the morning to make up for any broken sleep.

My sleep is also interrupted at least three times during the night JUST to pee (and it's always like there was a waterfall in there waiting to come out! Seriously... how can I make so much pee in such a short period of time!!!). Again, with my first pregnancy this was actually kind of cool. It was like a constant reminder that I was finally PREGNANT! Plus, I could just sleep a little longer in the morning to make up for it...

However this week, my kids have joined the 'lets stop mum from getting any kind of reasonable sleep' campaign. Granted they've both had head colds complete with tracks runny green snot and coughs. But they can't wake and demand my attention at the same time. They need to take it in turns over a period of about 3-4hrs. Then, just as I've managed to get some actual sleep, the sun will come up and my 2.5yr old will decide that 5am is a brilliant time to start the day!

So there's no more 'extra morning sleep' now. Those few hours between bedtime and sunrise are so precious!!!

For those pregnant mum's out there with a handful of kids already in their care - I salute you! ;)