Monday, March 17, 2014
38 weeks tomorrow.
I have a full-sized newborn baby living inside of me. Someone else's baby. It really is such a mind-bend!
I'm finding that nearly every night my dreams are getting more and more bizarre, and are all interconnected to pregnancy/birth/babies/surrogacy etc in some way. Last night's dream was that I was in hospital and had just given birth, as had another surrogate. The other surrogate had handed her surro bub over to their family, then demanded that I give her the surro bub I'd just delivered... I was like 'um, no... he has a family already. Besides, what do YOU want with him! Why were you a surrogate if you wanted a baby of your own!?'
Then the dream changed and somehow I was swimming in a flooded Brisbane river, hanging onto partly submerged buildings looking for oysters (I don't think there are actually oysters in the river though - or that I'd want to be swimming in it, flooded or otherwise! lol).
Baby's mum and I have been spending a good amount of time together attending appointments and hanging out. I've now had 2 x acupunture sessions and 45mins of glorious reflexology to help try and entice this baby boy out. There's a 3rd acupunture session booked for this afternoon, and another hospital check up tomorrow. My days now revolve around all things pregnancy and baby - which probably explains why the same things fill my dreams as well.
We spent a good 2hrs at the birth suite yesterday afternoon with baby on the CTG monitor and some urine/bloods/BP checks. It was actually quite a timely experience to be able to sit in one of the birth suites and get a good look around WITHOUT being in labour! I noticed things I hadn't even spotted when I was there 3yrs ago for the birth of my son. I got quite excited to see a bath - only to be told 'no, you can't give birth in there'!
We talked through labour plans for us all, where she and baby's dad would be, how hands on I thought I might like them to be (or not at all), the delayed cord clamping for baby if possible, the logistics if we do have to stay overnight in the ward and where baby's mum will sleep... it was also timely to be able to have those conversations again. I think it's surprising sometimes as to the things you just assume, or expect - but don't actually check with other people. It's a nice feeling to know we're on the same page for a lot of this labour business!
We now just keep going about our days, waiting either for my body to release this little boy, or for the hopsital to say 'no, we need to get him out now'... which ever comes first!