Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Unwell baby boy
Poor little Zander ended up in the hospital this week. He's still there, and is likely to be there for at least another week yet. He has RSV, a respiratory virus that is making it very hard for him to breathe/eat. His poor parents are beside themselves, and his mum is torn between needing to be in hospital with him and needing to be there for her 2yr old as well.
He's been tested for whooping cough, and that has come back negative. So that's one positive at least. The doctors are a little concerned by how long it is taking his body to fight the virus, and there has been talk of needing to go to ICU if things get any worse - but for now he seems stable.
I can only imagine what this must be like for his family. Having such a young baby so sick. Even just getting to the point where you realise you need to take your baby back to the hospital because things have gotten that bad... I can imagine, but I've never been there so I don't really *know*. It's a strange position for a surrogate, and not something I thought about as a possible scenario post-surrogacy journey. How would I feel if my surro bub got seriously ill?
There's physically nothing I can do for him. I toyed with the idea of asking if his parents wanted me to courier some expressed milk up there for him to try and help with his immune system, but I stopped pumping a few days ago and have gone from getting 80mls a session to 8mls. My body has finished its task now, and is letting me know. I still feel this inexplicable need to 'help' in some way though. I don't know if I've just become addicted to helping, or if it's because he was born from my body? I honestly don't know how I would feel if this was a friend's baby in this position... I assume I would feel much the same in my desire to want to do something to assist?
But as my thoughts just go around and around, I come back to the same conclusion - there is nothing I can do. He is with his mum and dad and they are doing everything for him. He's getting the best medical care and monitoring, and literally all we can do now is wait and give his little body time to heal itself.