13 week scan

Baby's parents flew down yesterday so we could all attend the 13wk scan. Our egg donor came as well - so it was a full room for the scan! The technician managed to capture some very clear pictures of bub - including this crazy 3D one.

It really does blow my mind each time I see the baby again as to how human it is already. We think about these things in terms of something not-quite-formed yet. But we could see details like finger bones and kidneys and even the hemispheres of the brain!

Even though this is my third time going in for a 13wk scan, the magic never dulls. This is truely a miracle.

This ITCH!

So, I was going along, living life and keeping busy when all of a sudden I started to get very very itchy.

It started on the friday night just after we hit the 12wk mark. Just a bit of itching on my legs. I thought maybe I'd been bitten by some bugs or something. I went to bed that night and tried to get some sleep, but it soon became apparent that the itching was getting worse... and spreading to the rest of my body. While it looked a lot like hundred of tiny red bug bites, the fact that they were on my thighs, in my hair, along my hair line, on my palms, my butt, my elbows and my chest seemed to suggest something else.

I was showering at 1am on the Saturday morning to try and get some relief. First thing as the sun came up, I was getting ready to head into the saturday morning walk-in GP clinic. The dr was just as confused as I was - and I got the whole 'have you eaten/touched/done anything different' - but I hadn't. I don't have any known alergies and I've never had any eczema... this was just totally new for me.

The dr checked baby's heart beat on the doppler - and found it (which I thought was pretty good considering we're not at the 14wk mark yet), then explained that the normal medications for this kind of thing were not proven safe in pregnancy. So he gave me a steriod shot instead.

And I went home. Still itching.

That night was just as bad, only this time I was woken by a very painful ache in my arm. I was a little surprised by this latest symptom - but dismissed it. Sunday morning my hands were so swollen and sore I had to remove my rings. I had big red blotchy marks on my palms that looked a lot like bruising. We drove to the chemist and I bought some QV lotion and bio oil to see if I could soothe my skin (the QV worked a treat and I've nearly gotten through 1.5L in the last few days!).

Sunday night was even worse. This time both of my arms were aching like I've never experienced. I couldn't sleep despite being so tired. But the benefit to not being able to use my arms overnight did mean that I couldn't scratch, so when I woke up I didn't have any of the rash. It only came back after I started itching my skin again.

A few days on, and another GP visit and blood test later, I'm still no further informed on what this weird rash/itch is. The parents of bub and I have been doing a lot of google research, and it looks like it could be PUPPS, an extremely itchy pregnancy rash that normally develops in the third trimester (and doesn't go away until delivery). Or it could be something a little more sinister - which is what we're testing for with the bloodwork.

I did get to the bottom of my bruised looking hands and aching arms though - it was from all the itching! I got my hubby to massage my arms last night before bed to try and relieve the ache - and it worked a treat. Along with trying my utmost NOT to scratch - so as to give my hands and arm muscles a bit of a break - I now no longer have the big patches of red on my palms. The all-over body itch is still there all day and all night, but I've found if I keep my hands busy, my body smeared in QV lotion and my brain focused on something else I can reduce the amount of itching I do.

I have another GP appointment tomorrow afternoon, and I'm kind of hoping for some answers. But at the same time, no answer probably means the diagnosis of PUPPS is most likely. Which is the better outcome for baby as it's completely harmless for him!

So we wait :) And try not to scratch!

It's a....

I had blood taken at the start of last week - a new test here in Australia called 'Verify'. This test is totally non-invasive, but works on the principle that little bits of the dna from the fetus are passed through the placenta and travel around my body in my blood. This dna can be examined to determine if there are any chromosomal issues with the fetus (like downs etc), but in a MUCH more accurate way then the 13wk nuchal fold scan that only gives you 'odds'.

The other benefit is that you can find out the gender of the baby. 

The parents called me on Wednesday to let me know the good news - baby was perfectly fine, and a little boy! 

It feels so surreal (and a little naughty) to know baby's gender this early in! 

Timing

When I was 6 weeks pregnant with my first pregnancy I remember walking around in a state of bewilderment and shock and amazement. This had actually happened for us. We'd had a dating scan and seen the tiny sack, fetal pole and yolk sack. I had a due date (the day before my 25th birthday). And I felt like nothing could touch me. Life was perfect.

I was already imagining my body with a huge pregnant belly, and how much fun it would be to be able to tell my friends and family who didn't already know yet. I caught up with my best friend of over 20 years for morning tea, and we were discussing all things morning sickness and sore boobs and what I could expect over the next few months (she already had a 2yr old). She was a wealth of information, but also so gracious about my first-timer naivety.

Then she casually mentioned that she was pregnant too.

I didn't think I could be any more excited! This amazing person that had been in my life since we were just tots ourself was going to share this pregnancy journey with me. There is only a few weeks difference between our own birthdays, and I think we both went into 'future-imagining' mode thinking about the awesome bond our children would share only having a few weeks between their birthdays as well.

My daughter was born towards the end of July, and her son was born at the start of August. We spent a LOT of time together when our babies were little and started a small playgroup. She was my 'go-to-girl' for all things parenting, breastfeeding, sleep-settling, and nappy-brand-choosing. Life was good.

When I found out I was pregnant with my son, my friend was already 5 months into her third pregnancy. So it was a novelty to be pregnant at the same time again, but the time difference was big enough that by the time I was actually starting to show, she already had a newborn in her arms. There was no one in my immediate frienship group who was due around the same time as me. So it was a different experience to be doing it 'solo' as such.

My son was born the day before a huge cyclone hit north qld. The property damage to the towns in the path of the storm meant work opportunities for my friend's builder husband, so they relocated the family up north. There would be no baby-catch up dates this time around. I still continued to attend the playgroup we had started though, which was now full of friends with kids of all ages. But I did miss that shared sense of 'I know what you're going through' that you develop with a mum that has a baby the same age as yours. Babies grow so fast in that first year that even a few months seems like a crazy difference.

When I was contemplating this surrogate pregnancy, I think I just assumed that I'd probably be doing the pregnancy thing solo again. And this was actually what sat best with me. I wasn't sure how I'd go if friends of mine were delivering babies around the same time as me. Yet keeping them! (obviously!). But one of the things I've quickly learnt is that just because something happened a certain way with a previous pregnancy, does not mean it'll happen that way again (this also translates to morning sickness!).

So far both my friend (yep, the same one as the last two pregnancies!), and my cousin are sharing this pregnancy journey with me. My friend is almost exactly a month ahead of me, this time with her fourth pregnancy. And my cousin and I basically share a due date. This is her first.

As with most things that happen in my life unexpectedly, I usually have a few days where I chew over the new information, write about it, process it, talk about it, process it a bit more - then move on. And this was no different.

I have no control over who else in my world will be sharing this pregnancy journey with me. What I do have control over is how I react to the timing of it. I can get all stressy and anxious and imagine future scenarios where they have a baby in their arms and I don't, or I can imagine visiting their babies in the future and feeling an extra special connection to them because of our shared experiences.

And it's honestly the later scenario that feels most real to me. I'm so excited to share this journey with these special women, and take the next steps on this very unique life experience.

Reactions

I was a little naive when I first started talking about my plans for this surrogacy journey - I just assumed my family and friends would think about it the same way that I did. But I was wrong.

Very wrong!!

MOST people were really curious and interested about it. I'd usually get the 'but is it even legal!?' (yes it is) or the 'how will you be able to give the baby up?' ( it's not mine to keep) or the 'how much will you get paid?' (it's illegal to be paid) questions. Some friends thought about it a little more and threw doozy questions at me like 'what happens if there's something wrong with the baby?' (we will deal with that if/when it happens) or 'what if the Intended Mum gets sick again?' (seriously?! Anyone could get sick or be killed living their basic, boring life. This does not make one person a more worthy parent than any other) ...

We covered a LOT of scenarios in the hours of counselling. Some were quite hard to talk through, so I can only imagine how horrible they'd be to live through. But for the most part the IPs and my hubby and I agreeded on all the major aspects. I approached the scenarios in the same way I would have if this was my own pregnancy, with common sense and decency. Until we hit the next question...

This was the one that I found hardest to get my head around: what if my life is in danger health-wise, and the baby needs to be delivered early. I found myself getting bogged down in the hypothetical details (ie. how far through the pregnancy am I), arguing that if we had any avenue to delay the delivery to give the baby the best fighting chance, I'd want to take it (this is what I'd do in my own pregnancy. If it meant bed rest for weeks/months, or hospitalisation or a cocktail of drugs...I'd do whatever it took to give the baby extra days/weeks to grow). The IPs were horrified and explained that they'd never want to risk my life over their unborn child and would deliver as soon as necessary. I wanted to argue with them... but I also got a glimmer of seeing it from their perspective too. I wouldn't risk leaving my kids without a mother. And neither would they.

This is why you have counselling! With this awareness, and with eyes fully open, I realised that this wasn't going to be 'just like one of my own pregnancies'. This was different. And it would be treated differently by not only medical staff, but by friends and family as well.

I think this was most noticeable for me when we got the positive pregnancy result after the first blood test. I remember struggling a bit with how different things felt, and recording some of my thoughts in the pregnancy journal I'm keeping for the bub (and his mum)...

" 28th July 2013

So... we got a big fat positive on the pregnancy blood test 2 days ago. I cheated a little and did a pee-stick test before the blood test - and it told me you had stuck. So I already knew the good news. We do another blood test tomorrow to make sure you're growing well and getting stronger.

At this stage I don't want to get used to the idea that you'll be there for the long-run because we're all aware that things can go wrong (especially because you spent a few months frozen)... but we have to be positive. 

At this stage I feel like this is it - that you ARE here for the long-run... I also feel like you're a little boy. (But you can't trust my 'feelings'. I don't really know what you are! We all just want you to be healthy). 

So at this stage, once we've had a good second blood test tomorrow we'll then have a scan following that and I'll get to see you. I look forward to being able to feel you move in there too. 

We told our kids that you are in my belly. I don't know how much they really understand though. My daughter woke us up at 6am this morning to ask me if I had 'squeezed the baby out yet?' 

I think the hardest thing to get my head around so far has been 'how and I supposed to feel?' If this was my pregnancy with a brother or sister for my children I would be feeling excited, and scared. And I would be imagining my life with a third child. 

Because you're not my baby, there is no 'what will the future bring' thoughts beyond imagining you growing up with your mum and dad and big brother. It's a bizarre situation to be in the middle of. 

You spend your whole life surrounded by and reacting to people's announcements of pregnancy and there's a social etiquette for responding. This situation is so new, and so strange that there is no 'norm' to follow. So I think that has left me feeling a little lost for the last few days. 

This is really happening now. It's VERY real. But how do I feel about it? How am I supposed to feel about it? 

I think I'm still excited, but it's a different form of excitement. I'm excited to watch my body do 'it's thing' again, to see you moving on the scans, to have my belly expand to make space for you... but the excitement and anticipation of a newborn in the house/another member of the family is missing. So it's almost like an incomplete excitement. 

Maybe that's what I've been trying to understand over these last few days - why I feel different this time? It's silly though, because of course I'm going to feel different! This situation IS different! 

I am looking forward to being able to give birth to you, then being able to hand you over to your parents and jusr SLEEP! (That was my biggest desire after delivering my own two babies, but the last thing you actually get to do!). I think I may struggle a bit with the emptiness of not having you inside me anymore, and also not having you in my arms. I think that will be a challenge - but I know I am strong enough to face it. And I will be ok in time. 

And on that note I need to get up and get ready for a family lunch. I think they're all a bit confused as to how to feel about this as well though. They're happy, but the excitement of a new family member isn't there. So they probably feel a bit confused about it all as well. "


Things have changed and developed in the months since this post though, and nearly everyone of my friends and family members have gotten their heads around this bizarre situation - as have I.

I have no illusions that it's not going to be especially hard for my parents seeing their daughter pregnant, but there being no grandbaby at the end of it for them. But I am buoyed by a simple comment one of my brothers made recently... 'really proud of you for doing this Em'. And I have to admit, I am too. Proud, and scared and excited and curious and honoured to be on this unusual journey.

The Transfer

When I first started this journey the eventual embryo transfer seemed like a mythical process that would happen at some undefined time in the future. I actually didn't think too much about it.

There was so much to get done first - the creating of the embryo's to begin with (which is a whole other story that deserves it's own post. Donor eggs were needed as the Intended Mum's ovaries had been removed along with her uterus to save her life - leading her to this position. The IPs, myself and the donor all met up and it was amazing to have three families coming together to create this muchly longed for baby), along with blood tests and fertility appointments and hours of counselling, visits to lawyers, more appointments, matching our schedule with that of the Intended Parents, signing the final legal documents and trying to get everything posted back to the clinic in a timely manner. This whole process took from February when we first met and had our initial appointment at the clinic until the end of June.

And cost the IPs a small fortune!

Then we were given the green light to start my cycle. Things were about to happen.

I was put on some estrogen tablets, slowly increasing the amount over the first few days following my period. Then I went into the clinic for a scan on day 12, and everything was looking good. I took home some CRAZY expensive progesterone gell dispensers that needed to be squirted up there twice a day, morning and night. At a cost of approx $230 a week. If the pregnancy took, these would need to be continued until 9 weeks along!

Day 17 was embryo transfer day. The IM flew down so she could be there with me. We sat in the waiting room, chatting constantly, just waiting for whatever needed to happen next. We had a scheduled time that came and went. We were told the Dr was running a bit behind. But the IM had a plane to catch back, and we were getting closer and closer to peak hour traffic! Finally a lab tech came to talk to us. She had photos of the embryo at first defrost, then a few hours later. You could actually see how it had changed and expanded. We were both mesmerised! Would this be the first baby photo!?

We were then ushered back into the waiting room - when I suddenly remembered that I was supposed to be drinking water so I had a full bladder. I sculled a 600ml bottle of water in about 5mins. And went back to waiting. We were called in not long after that. I was convinced my bladder wouldn't be full enough - but I need not have worried!

They got me up on the very immodest chair/bed thing specifically designed for this kind of thing, with my pants off and my legs spread I had the Dr elbow deep with one probe inside and one on my belly, a nurse hovering around behind him, the IM to the side  - all four of us having a chat about something innane.

We hovered like this for a while as the Dr had a look at my uterus. He likes to give 'pop quiz's' in the middle of appointments, and this was no different. He brings up the image of my uterus with a dark area in the centre of it and proceeds to ask us all what the dark spot means. I suggest fluid of some kind. He agreed, but wanted to know what kind of fluid. The nurse tentatively suggests blood? The Dr looks at me and asks if I've had any bleeding. I reassure him that I hadn't. By this stage I can feel the tension from the IM, which only worsens when he makes the comment that embryo transfers have been cancelled after discovering uterus's like this. I don't think the IM or myself breathe for a few seconds.

Then he proceeds to explain quite mater-of-factly that the fluid is just mucus. Which is actually really good. And gives us the garden analogy - 'you can't expect a garden to grow without moisture, it's the same for embryos'. We all start to breathe again. Including the nurse who is obvioulsy used to the Dr's quirky bedside manner, but still wasn't sure where he was going with this.

We're still in this position for a while longer. The Dr asks the IM to take over the belly ultrasound probe at one point. I'm not even sure why!? All of this awkwardness is starting to get uncomfortable. That bladder that wasn't full before is now full to the brim. I decide to ask if we can expect something to happen soon. The Dr laughs and explains that we're just waiting for the lab techs to bring in the embryo.

Finally the magical tube with the embryo nestled safely inside it arrives. It's inserted and we watch as the white substance is expelled into my uterus on the ultrasound screen. Two little white splotches. But we're reassured that there was only one embryo transferred.

Then it's all over and done with. As soon as that the probes are removed, I'm told I can stand up and go to the toilet (and again reassured that doing a wee won't knock the embryo out!). We go over what happens after this - I get given two blood test forms. One for day 28 to determine if there is any HCG floating around in my blood. And the second to re-test 3 days later to make sure the numbers are increasing appropriately (they like them to double). They explain that if the first result is negative, they'll book us another appointment to come back in and discuss the next cycle.

My IM and I take the elevator back to ground level, say a quick goodbye (as the taxi's are there waiting for us), then head off in our respective directions - me home to my family, and her off to the airport to make the much longer journey home to her family.

The whole afternoon is quite surreal. The taxi driver and I talk about the state of the city now and how there's just not the work for taxis any more. I want to grab him and say 'I've just been impregnanted with another persons baby'. But I sit there. And listen to him talk about his retirement and how he doesn't work the dreaded night-hours anymore.

I get home and my 4yr old hugs me and asks if I have a baby in my tummy now? (We've been very open and honest with her throughout this whole process, and my husband had told her I was seeing the Dr so he could put our friend's baby in my tummy). I had to laugh, and explain that he had, but that it wasn't a baby yet, it was just very very small. And we had to wait to see if it would decide to stay around and grow into a baby. I lay on the couch with her for a while and was reminded again of how blessed we'd been with our kids. Nothing like a surrogacy process to remind you of that!

Obviously we did get our positive HCG result. 360 for the one done at 28days, and nearly 2000 for the one done 3 days later. (But I cheated, and did a little home pregnancy test before hand!)

And so began the journey that is this surrogate pregnancy.

Meeting the Intended Parents

I couldn't imagine being in the position of needing another human being to grow my babies for me.

Having to hope against hope that someone, somewhere out there in the world would consider taking on such a huge task. Someone who would allow themselves to be impregnanted with a child that will never be theirs, carry that child through morning sickness, exhaustion, heartburn, stretch marks, constipation, bloating, swelling, and the constant paranoia that comes with not knowing if the baby is ok 24/7. Then have to give birth - however many hours of pain that takes - and hand the baby over to you immediately following birth.

And that's the uncomplicated version! What if there's a problem with the baby? What if there's preeclampsia, or gestational diabetes, or early labour, broken waters, bleeding, forced bed rest or any number of life threatening scenarios that can occur during delivery...? How do you reconcile the all consuming need for a child against the risks you're asking another person to take for you?

I don't have the answer.

I am not the one in this position. Though I have dipped my toe into the pool of 'desperately wanting a baby but being told it cant' happen'. So I do feel I understand this fundamental, biological, inescapable drive. To a degree. As much as someone who eventually had her two children 'just happen' can understand.

It was this glimmer of understanding that has been a fairly crucial motivator for me. I'll never claim to fully understand the torment an 'Intended Parent' must go through to make the decision to use a surrogate to complete their family, but I don't think I need to. That is their process, their soul searching and ultimately their choice.

MY responsibility was to make sure I was 100% certain of what I was offering to my IPs BEFORE contacting them. And while I think I certainly felt 100% certain at the time of first contact, there have been moments along the journey so far that I have questioned myself.

When we had our first round of counselling I was left with the question of what we'd do if the hospital I delivered at wouldn't let the IPs stay overnight to care for their baby. What if I was stuck all night with a newborn that wasn't mine (but legally was, so couldn't be discharged until I was), that I couldn't breastfeed, that I had to try and learn to settle... I had a little mini panic! The hospitals I'd delivered my own children in hadn't even let my hubby stay overnight to help. I found myself wondering why I was putting myself in this position as this scenario was literally my worst nightmare! The panic was short lived though, as we did some research and got some recommendations and a referral to an OB who had dealt with surrogacy situations before and DID allow IPs to stay overnight.

Then again when I was about 7weeks pregnant and VERY VERY sick with a combo of morning sickness and the flu... I was feeling quite sad and sorry for myself. I think I spent about 4 days in bed fighting through hot/cold fevers with a spew bucket by the bed. I alternated between thoughts of 'why am I doing this again?' to 'God I hope the baby is ok with all these fevers'! But the flu inevitably passed, and I started feeling a little more like me again, and refocused on the goal - a healthy baby for my IPs.

IPs that I didn't know before this journey started, but with whom I have a great deal of trust and respect. I honestly think this is the only way an altruistic surrogacy journey can take place - you have to have a connection there, but I think it's also really important to keep good boundaries. I have thought about it many times, and for me I don't know if I would have felt as comfortable to take on this journey with a family member or existing friend. The boundaries are a little more blurred and for me, it might have made things a little too messy if there were some less then ideal outcomes...

Because the IPs I chose live in the same state as me, but a fair distance away (nearly 1000km away), it meant that our first 'getting to know you' moments were nearly all done via email or the phone. It was like an intensive series of first dates, only we were throwing information at each other that might take other people years to discover! It also meant that there was a degree of natural 'boundary setting' in place simply due to the geographic distance.

My hubby and I met our IPs in person over lunch one day earlier this year, and got to meet their little boy. We were both so impressed by their parenting style and how down to earth and like us they were, that there were never any awkward moments. I think we all knew at that meeting that this was going to work. The IPs are very respectful of my space, and my role as mum to my own kids first and foremost.

I don't know how this relationship is going to look at the end of the pregnancy. This is a path I've never taken before. I don't know how it will look in 1 years time. Or 5yrs time. Or even 10 to 20 years time. These are all unknowns, and not something any of us can predict. We can have ideals in our mind (We're all hoping to keep in contact with annual visits and regular updates), but the reality will be what it is. And the not-knowing is all part of the experience.

Why choose altruistic surrogacy?

Hi.

Welcome to this brand new, squeaky clean blog.

I've been blogging for some years now, mostly to do with my pet-keeping hobby and craft business, though I did flirt with the idea of a 'chronicles of motherhood' blog when my children were very young and my sanity levels were questionable. I didn't have a lot of positive things to write back then though, so I decided against it. Though I've always kind of wished I'd had the guts to stick to it, to write how I was feeling and document those painfully slow days with a new baby and an toddler barely out of babyhood herself.

But I didn't. I self-censored myself. Things did get better. We all got used to our new lives, the baby grew up into a nearly-toilet-trained handsome little boy and the toddler is now a very well spoken pre-schooler. And I love them with every fibre of my being.

My husband and I were told early in our marriage that we'd have a lot of trouble concieving a baby naturally thanks to some rather serious health complications we'd both faced in our teens. We tried for a long time, then resigned ourselves to the assisted fertility process. We purchased health insurance to help us pay for the priviledge of becoming parents, then discovered that we were pregnant with our daughter within a fortnight! And 18months after her arrival to the world, we were welcoming her little brother.

Our family was complete.

It was late last year, around the time when families are gathering together to celebrate christmas and people are making their new years resolutions, when a passing comment between my hubby and I led to the idea of looking into surrogacy. I had managed two successful pregnancies, not without minor complications, but at the end of the day both babies had arrived safely and very well cooked (9lb and 10lbs!). We knew our family was complete, but there was that little part of me that wanted to experience pregnancy one last time. But without the newborn at the end!

I also wanted to give back in 2013. I wanted to do something to help change someone's life for the better. Our business was working well, but selling craft kits and handmade plushies wasn't exactly making a meaningful difference to anyone. Surrogacy would. Being able to grow a baby for a family who otherwise would have no other means to bring their child into the world was such an incredible concept.

I started an extensive google search. And I learnt a LOT! It was actually really overwhelming in those first few weeks of learning. And quite a few times I questioned whether or not I could actually do this.

In Australia surrogacy is only legal if done altruistically. That means no payment for the actual process of carrying the baby. You do need to be reinbursed for any medical costs, transport to appointments, parking costs, loss of income from attending appointments, medications required, therapies used etc etc. But no 'wage' for being a surrogate. You do that just because you want to.

Once the embryo is transferred to your uterus (in the case of gestational surrogacy, when you're not genetically related to the baby), it actually becomes YOUR baby legally. This means you, as the surrogate have the legal rights to decisions around what happens with the pregnancy/fetus. So you would really need to trust your surrogate! Also, once the baby is born, it is still legally the surrogate mother and her partner's child. Even though they both have no genetic contribution! A parentage order is made through the courts after the baby has been in the care of the actual parents for 28 days, and the legal guardianship is transferred to them.

The reverse of this is also true though: if the intending parents decide at any point during the pregnancy or following the birth (before the parentage order has gone through) that they don't want the baby - then legally the surrogate and her partner are 'stuck with it'. In the eyes of the law it's their child. Obviously they could choose to terminate (if early enough into the pregnancy) or adopt the baby out following birth. But both options would be horrendous emotional minefields.

There's a process of counselling and personality testing for all parties involved, as well as separate lawyers for both the surrogate and partner, and the Intended Parents so a 'surrogacy agreement' can be drawn up. This is a ridiculously expensive piece of paper that outlines what will happen over the embryo transfer, pregnancy and birth, but isn't worth the paper it's printed on, because it all comes back to the fact that the surrogate has the legal rights. Again, you would REALLY want to trust your surrogate here in Australia.

So after coming to terms with all that a surrogate journey in my country would entail, and deciding that it was still something that I felt compelled to do, I set about familiarising myself with the world of families seeking surrogates. Surprisingly there didn't appear to be a great many of them (which I think comes back to the fact that it's illegal to advertise that you need a surrogate, or would like to be a surrogate! They do like to make a complicated process just that little bit worse). But I did stumble across a family who's story struck a cord with me. They were the same age as my hubby and I, and had experienced a similar background with some serious health complications that had led them to this situation. We started emailing and over a matter of months came to know each other quite well!

Obviously there is a lot more of the story to fill in between then and now, but I'm chuffed to say that we are currently 10wks pregnant with a very precious surrogate baby. I have been writing a pregnancy diary for the baby, and for his/her mum, and will share some of those extracts, and this unique journey as it unfolds over the next few months. But I think for now I've probably prattled on enough :)